Richard Tiny
A Cautionary Tale of Dreams, Loss, and Very Small Things
Artist Representation
The Rise
Once upon a time, in the neon-lit valleys of San Fernando, there lived a man named Richard Tiny. But Richard wasn't just any man. He was a STAR. A micro-celebrity, if you will. His niche? Well, let's just say he cornered a very specific market in the adult entertainment industry.
Richard's diminutive endowment wasn't a weakness—it was his superpower. He was the undisputed king of the micro-penis genre. Awards lined his cardboard box. Fan mail flooded his P.O. Box (before it was repossessed). He was living the dream—or at least, a very small version of it.
⚠️ CLASSIFIED INFORMATION ⚠️
The Illuminati tracked Richard's every move. They knew. They always knew.
The Fall
But then came the GREAT DISPLACEMENT. A massive influx of extremely competitive individuals from south of the border entered the micro-penis pornography market. They worked for less. They were hungrier. They had ambition.
Richard couldn't compete. One by one, his gigs dried up faster than his career prospects. The studios stopped calling. The directors stopped returning his emails. His agent ghosted him harder than his ex-girlfriends (all seven of them).
Before he knew it, Richard Tiny found himself living in a tent under the 405 freeway, clutching his old AVN Award for "Best Performance in a Micro-Budget Production"(the pun was intentional), wondering where it all went wrong.
The Revelation
But here's where it gets weird. Really weird.
One night, as Richard lay in his tent, he looked up at the stars through a hole in the fabric and saw it: THE ALL-SEEING EYE. It winked at him. Yes, winked.
In that moment, Richard understood. His career wasn't destroyed by market forces. It was destroyed by THE SIMULATION. The Freemasons. The Lizard People. The Mandela Effect itself was rewriting his reality, making people forget he ever existed.
🔺 THE TRUTH 🔺
Richard Tiny isn't just a failed porn star. He's a PROPHET. A cautionary tale. A reminder that in this simulation we call reality, nothing is as it seems. Not your memories. Not your career. Not even your... measurements.
Where Is He Now?
Some say Richard still lives under that bridge, preaching the truth to anyone who'll listen. Others claim he was recruited by a secret government agency for his unique... talents. A few conspiracy theorists insist he never existed at all—just a shared false memory planted in our collective consciousness by the elite.
Are you shittin' me?
This story is 100% satirical and completely fictional. Richard Tiny is not a real person. Please don't fact-check this. The Illuminati is watching.