Contact The Illuminati

Your message will be forwarded to our secret underground bunker. Probably.

Our Totally Real Office

Headquarters

Shittin.Me Global Enterprises, LLC, Inc, Corp, Ltd
A Subsidiary of The New World Order™

Address

1313 Mockingbird Lane
Atlantis, Lost Continent 90210
Beneath the Denver Airport
Third Basement Level, Next to the Lizard People

Phone

1-800-ARE-U-SHITTIN-ME
(1-800-273-8488-464-643)
Press 1 for English, 2 for Conspiracy Theories

Email

[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
(He checks it from the public library)

⚠️ SECURITY NOTICE

All communications are monitored by The Eye. Your IP address, browser history, and that embarrassing thing you did in 2007 have been logged.

Send Us Your Confusion

Business Hours

Regular Hours:

Monday: 3:33 AM - 4:44 AM
Tuesday: Closed (Lizard People Meeting)
Wednesday: 11:11 AM - 11:12 AM
Thursday: By Appointment Only (No Appointments Available)
Friday: The 13th Only
Saturday: Depends on Planetary Alignment
Sunday: Closed (Day of Rest for The Eye)

Holiday Hours:

New Year's: Open (Time is an Illusion)
Groundhog Day: Maybe
Friday the 13th: Double Shifts
Area 51 Anniversary: Closed
Roswell Day: By Invitation Only
December 21, 2012: Still Waiting

Legal Disclaimer

By accessing this page, you acknowledge that reality is subjective, memories are unreliable, and nothing on this website should be taken seriously. At all. Ever.

Shittin.Me Global Enterprises is not responsible for: existential crises, reality breakdowns, Mandela Effect confusion, conspiracy theory addiction, or the sudden realization that you might be living in a simulation.

Richard Tiny is a fictional character. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and probably a Mandela Effect.

We are not affiliated with: The Illuminati, Freemasons, Lizard People, Area 51, The Denver Airport, or any other secret organizations. (That's exactly what we'd say if we were, though.)